The Day Mr. Good-Looks Lost His Shine

One day I saw a man in a restaurant where I went to dine.
He sat at a table adjacent to me, and I tell you—he really looked fine!
It seems when nature was distributing looks, he was first in line,
And being greedy, he took a triple portion—like beauty was on discount, “Buy one, get nine!”

He wore those looks like a crown, but unfortunately, they scrambled my little mind.
I know so because when I picked up the phone to call a friend, I dialed six instead of nine.
So, the call went to someone busy worshipping in a shrine.
Come to think of it, shouldn’t that person turn off the phone and focus on things divine?
But hey, maybe they’re saying, “With technology, even prayers can go online!”

Anyway, let’s not stray from Mr. Good-Looks fearfully and wonderfully designed.
Nature makes men for women to see, but some outshine—
So, if I got confused, blame nature, not me. I’m innocent, signed and underlined!

As I waited for my meal, Mr. Good-Looks called the waiter and ordered wine.
Then he started eating, but within seconds, my jaw hit the table—oh my, oh mine!
Because Good-Looks ate like a hungry swine.
I thought, “Maybe he’s starving,” so I reclined,

After feeding his tummy, he got up to pay the bill,
But attached from his waist down was a fashion crime that gave me chills.
He wore jeans so tight, I swear they were screaming for mercy—
If those pants could talk, they’d say, “Call 911, this is an emergency!”

To make matters worse, they were sagging way below his behind.
Plus, his underwear was on full display—like a billboard for a brand I never wanted to find.
And instantly, strange thoughts popped into my mind:
“Is this a man or a walking laundry sign?”

The shock was so real, his good looks started to decline.
I no longer thought he was in nature’s front line.
If he had come over and said, “Young lady, you are so divine.
Your beauty captured my attention, and I’d love to make you mine,”
I’d have said, “No way! I’m disappointed. For you, I no longer pine.
First, take a class called ‘How Not to Scare Women with Your Behind.’”